I’ve been dreaming of this day for four insufferable years. The day I would finally put down my pen, throw my scribbled on notes over my shoulder and dance the dance of finally completing university. However, now that I’m at the end of this journey to gain the prerequisites for succeeding in life I’ve found that, sadly, I am no more closer to prospering than when I began. Unfortunate.
I guess it’s not all bad. I mean, so I can’t just mosey on in to my dream career, (whatever the hell that is) earn lots of money, and stroke my imaginary beard with pride at having secured all my dreams. I guess that’s the price one pays for choosing a degree that leads straight to a brick wall upon completion. But look on the bright side– now I can actually wake up and decide what to do with my day, instead of being slapped around by a bitchy essay.
Now that I have retired the education phase of life, I actually have time for more important things. Things that don’t involve skipping lectures, facebooking during class and ill-prepared essays. I no longer have to be stressed and pretend I know what I’m talking about. I can now start the list of things I’ve been planning for the last month.
So let this blog entry be the witness to my goals:
I will teach myself to draw without wanting to stab myself after completion.
I will take care of the dead cats that make up my hair at the moment.
My room will become a liveable space instead of a breeding ground for pests.
I will get my mental state under control.
I will get my body back from the rotund animal that took it over while I had my back turned. The sneaky bastard…
No longer will I be a slave to a job that has never respected me.
Hopefully once I get these things sorted I’ll be on my way to the success I failed to achieve at uni…And all the joys will be brought to my proverbial yard.
…Alternatively, I shall live forever as a fat, talentless banshee, emerging from towers of junk only to “take your order, please” and throw feline creatures at the fuckers who actually know where they’re going in life. The possibilities are endless…